alisonhankinson

Lamentable Dementia.

Morgan Stanley, Epping Forest

Fisher Dogger Bight.

Cream Teas, cottage cheese

What has happened to my sight?

I had a boat the Mary Ellen

She sailed the seven seas

We braved the ocean regularly

We relished every breeze.

I sometimes think I had a wife

Whose name was Rosa May.

I’m not bitter-I enjoyed my life

But my memory has gone away.

Who are you? Why are you here?

Losing my mind is what I fear.

©Alison Jean Hankinson

This is for d’Verse open link night, and is dedicated to the people who reside at Rimu Park, Radius residential care home in Whangarei, where I used to take the students to read to the older folk.

Dementia is a cruel disease in so many ways. You have to try to build up the picture of a persons life from fragments of story. I think this is what dad would be like if he ever ended up with dementia. He sailed his boat for as long as he could after he lost his bosun and has now moved on to caravans, but the shipping forecast with its wonderful array of places was always waited for and listened to.

The beauty of imperfection.

In d’Verse we were asked to focus on imperfection for our haibun Monday Wabi-Sabi. My haiku isn’t a proper one as it is human.

Today I started my new job and met some new work colleagues. One beautiful lady was in the office with her baby, she was on maternity leave but had come in to share the joy of this young man. He looked beautiful and his arms were so open and he looked so uncurled and yet it took me back to the arrival of my girls. Ellen emerged in a state of perfect relaxation, but Emily’s arrival was more stark and primaeval, the screams were of real anger and short-lived. She was whisked off to the SCBU within the hour when I told the nurses it sounded like she was barking. Unbeknown to us the damage was already done.

Emily was diagnosed with cerebral palsy in the November on my birthday, was classed as having spasticity in all four quadrants and we were told she might never walk. Ellen and Emily worked together on this and she walked at 16 months old. We just carried on as best we could and she has achieved so much in her 18 years so far, and her imperfections are actually just a part of her surreal beauty and magical character. What she has achieved so far in her young life is way and above what many people without such obvious imperfections achieve. I told some of my story and was horrified at the irony-all is not what it seems and this little fellow had a similar story, but my little girl with her imperfections is nothing short of inspiration for others who are treading these uncertain imperfect waters.

Winter frost beckons
Stiff frozen imperfections
Sibling love melts ice.

©Alison Jean Hankinson

Beyond the shadows.

Maternal misgivings

Miscarriage numbs

Shades of silence separate us

Sorrow prevails

Suspended in shadows

Marriage meltdown

In grief defeated.

Barren and bewildered

Love lies

Dormant in the dust.

Test-tube babies

Twin harbingers of joy

Anchored in re-kindled love

Sunshine streams through

The clouds

©Alison Jean Hankinson

This is for d’Verse where we were asked to use the word “shade”.

Love beyond the grave.

She gave away her heart

Beneath the beating sun

He held her hand so close

She was his only one.

In time, they knew, love grew

More each day and more

The years went by, youth flew

Old age caught up for sure.

In death she held his heart

And wept for days of old

Her tears ran down his face

Against her skin his hand felt cold.

Love lingers on beyond

Though tears she sheds no more

She takes his love to Heaven

His soul to meet once more.

©Alison Jean Hankinson

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A second attempt for d’Verse…at trimeter…wonder if I got it this time?

The image is my Great Grandfather John Henry Mcclanaghan and his wife Frances with their eldest daughter Frances. Taken about 1904. theirs was an unusual love story. Some of it is in the link below.

Salford Pals

Any Old Iron

Roaring “Rag and Bone”

Bellowing “Rag and Bone”

Poorhouse strays, poverty weighs

Pawnshop dray, debtors pay

Loanshark says,

change your ways

Or else….we’ll end your days.

©Alison Jean Hankinson

The challenge that Frank set at d’Verse was to create a poem in trimeter. I had to think and try really hard and I am not sure if it is or isn’t so hopefully it is. Frank said “For this challenge, write a poem that uses trimeter lines. All of the lines in the poem do not have to be in trimeter, but enough should be so that one can tell this meter was used on purpose. The poems do not have to rhyme nor must they have any other sound qualities about them.

The rag and bone man used to come along our road in the 1970’s shouting “Any old iron” in fact we used them a bit like a swap shop, we put things on the cart and sometimes we took something in return. I was a child.

The image was labelled for reuse from Flickr and was actually from Newcastle libraries. this went with the photo:

Tor623, Rag and Bone Man, Newcastle upon Tyne
Description: Laszlo Torday arrived in Tynemouth in January 1940 from Hungary and took most of his photographs of Tyneside during the 1960’s and 1970’s. They reflect his interest in the streets and people of Newcastle especially of central Newcastle and the suburbs of Heaton and Jesmond. : The physical collection held by Newcastle Libraries comprises 100 photograph albums of black and white prints plus 16 boxes of colour transparencies. We are keen to find out more about them.

At the final sunset

In the end

It doesn’t matter what you had

It matters what you gave.

In the end

It doesn’t matter what you avoided

It matters what you did.

In the end

It doesn’t matter what they thought of you

It matters how you perceived yourself.

What joy gave your own life meaning

What peace you found in your own heart.

What indelible moments you left in the hearts and minds

Of the people you loved and who loved you.

Paul Scribbles asked us to write about “the end” for d’verse.

Without Fear.

Sunshine breaks through the clouds

after the rain had refreshed and restored

with its patient pitter patter on the window pane.

Fear was vanquished

in just one moment of stillness and calm and quiet contemplation.

We are so small and insignificant compared to nature.

This was written for d”Verse quadrille prompt which this week was the word fear. The photo is my own and it was taken this evening as I made the most of a dry spell. I took it for Ellen and was messaging her in NZ throughout my walk. We have all faced fears and uncertainties this year and the only thing I know is that tomorrow will bring new fears and realities and that we must take solace from the moments that are bigger than our fears.

Smile

The power of a smile is totally underestimated by most people. It is a simple gesture that means so much and it is used both consciously and subconsciously on a daily basis by most of us. There have been times in my life where it was a smile that made the difference.

A smile says “I accept you.”

A smile says “I get it, I understand”

A smile says “I love you.”

A smile says “It’s okay.”

A smile says “Hallo- I missed you.”

A smile says “Thanks for your support.”

A smile says “I will walk alongside you through your pain.”

A smile says “I am proud of you.”

A smile says “I value you.”

When you light up my life with a smile,

you make the moment and my existence more worthwhile.