For a moment my resolve waivers
I am on a precipice being plunged into darkness
By the weight of losing you.
Dull ache and yearning for your return.
Was I a good parent?
Should I have done more?
A flicker of doubt devours me.
©Alison Jean Hankinson
This is for d’Verse. Happy sixth birthday. It is Quadrille night and the word we were given was flicker. Ellen is my eldest twin daughter and we left her behind in NZ- very remiss of us. XXX
Here I stand cap in hand
A lifetime before me
And a lifetime behind me
And in the lamplight the path isn’t clear.
Here I lean upon my wooden bridge
Subdued memories ripple downstream in the wake of yesterday
And if I cross- hail what tomorrow brings
Shadows or sunsets in the evening?
Alison Jean Hankinson
For poetics d’Verse
Image– my mum and my daughter Ellen at St Annes, Lancashire. Mum was called Anne…
The lifetime behind me is my mum, whom I left behind and lost when I came to NZ, the lifetime before me is Ellen my eldest daughter whom I leave behind when I leave NZ to return to England.
Pre-empted vision
And what stands between us
Is only time and space.
Meaningless when you consider the vacuum
That we have already crossed.
Alison Jean Hankinson
We were asked to use visual prompts to be inspired- the idea of new beginnings, this particular image spoke volumes to me- as we are just about to embark on a new journey and leave behind our precious daughter Ellen. We will be worlds apart but I believe that love, all love-especially a mother’s love can span the abyss of any darkness, cross any void and penetrates the cavern of eternity. ( The same Ellen as in Ellen has a fever., but she was only 18 months old then and now she is 17…)
Image-New beginnings at the ends of the earth- by- Michaela Sagatova, see web link below:
This is for “beginnings” at d’Verse Poetics, hosted by Mish
It was the coldest night of winter,
snow on the footpaths and icicles
hanging from the window ledges.
Every window open to biting frost as Ellen had a fever
Cradled in the crook of my arm her chubby hot hand curled around my fingers.
Alison Jean Hankinson
For Quadrille#23 Curl at d’Verse.
Grief rolls over me
In huge tumultuous waves
leaving you behind
This time of year it always feels like the end of something and the start of something new. Even though we are in summer it is the end of the school year. It is always a time of reflection and it has also been a time of leaving for our family. I left my parents behind in Jan 2006, my last living visual memory of my mother was seeing her crying in the rear view mirror as we drove away to our new life here in New Zealand. It was only supposed to be a see you later, but it was a goodnight.
This year I am returning to spend time with my family and I have to say goodbye to some colleagues and friends after a very complex 11 years and it is very very difficult, they have walked beside me when I needed them. However the most difficult thing I have to do is to leave my eldest daughter here, and I sincerely hope for both of us it is simply a see you later and not to all a goodnight. This might not have been how the prompt was intended to be interpreted but it is what it spoke to me.
© Alison Jean Hankinson
Hues of Hankinson 